Man sparks furious debate after telling female friend why he thinks she’s single
We all know that lying isn’t the answer, but sometimes the truth can hurt.
So in a situation where someone has asked for your honest opinion and you know they won’t like what you’re going to say, should you still tell them?
This is the dilemma one man claims to have faced recently and he thinks he made the wrong decision.
The anonymous man took to Reddit’s Think I F***ed Up forum to share what had happened and ask for some advice on what he should do next.
In his post, he explains that one of his best female friends recently confessed to having trouble finding a guy to date her.
While out for drinks, his friend asked for his honest opinion on why she couldn’t get a boyfriend and the man told her straight up what he thought – and it’s fair to say he didn’t sugarcoat it.
He said: “I recently went to have drinks with a best girlfriend of mine and she asked me for my honest opinion as a guy as to why she can’t seem to find any guys that she would normally be interested in dating willing to date her.
“My friend is cute but she is a bit overweight and doesn’t present herself physically in the most flattering light. I have had guy friends of mine say they’d date her if it wasn’t for this issue.
“I asked her if she really wanted to know the truth. She said yes. So I proceeded to tell her about how she would get dates if she did lose some weight and make an effort to put her best foot forward. This did not go well.”
The man continues to say that his friend got really upset with the conversation and called him “shallow” proclaiming she shouldn’t have to change for anyone.
The pair haven’t spoken since that night and now he’s not sure if he should have kept his mouth shut.
He added: “From what I had been told by my friends regarding her and my own personal experience, this was the truth that she asked for.
“I feel bad but I felt like I should be honest. Unfortunately, it seems that honesty just caused me a great friendship.”
More than 3,000 people took the time to respond to the Reddit post with some agreeing she did ask for the truth but others thinking he was in the wrong.
One person said: “Give her some time. If she’s a generally intelligent and self-aware person, she’ll realize that she did ask for your honest opinion, you gave it, and she can choose to disregard it if she wants, hold out for someone who doesn’t care about the extra weight or whatever, etc.
“It’s natural that she would be a little hurt and offended, harsh truths can be emotionally painful but personally when I go to someone specifically seeking out blunt advice, even if I am resentful in the moment I generally either appreciate it or at least take responsibility for initiating the situation upon reflection.”
Another commented: “Telling your friend that she’s not getting dates because she’s fat isn’t a ‘harsh truth’, it’s a suggestion that beauty works one way and she’s somehow missing that boat. It’s kind of ridiculous, actually. You’re basically saying the problem here is that he simply delivered a horrible answer the wrong way. It’s still a horrible answer.”
A third replied: “She doesn’t have to change anything, but she was specifically asking for advice from a friend. And that friend gave her a truthful, honest answer about the very things that people have told him about her. She doesn’t have to change anything, I agree, but why go asking for advice on why something isn’t working out for you if you aren’t ready to improve yourself in some way to make it happen?”
Someone else added: “What a bunch of fatphobic a**holes automatically dismissing women that they deem ‘overweight’. Sounds like this girl needs better friends and she’ll find more guys with potential to date that aren’t saying she doesn’t work hard enough on her appearance.”